‘Don’t wear that color.’
‘It’s your fault now handle it’
‘live, love and laugh. Anxiety is all in your head’
‘People have got it worse’
Ughhhhh.
These sentences might leave us feeling hurt, infuriated or simply baffled at the audacity. And you have the right to feel and think so. These are some of the very common and similar statements we get to see when we are stuck in a toxic environment. If merely listening to them in a video is quite hurtful, having to listen to such remarks, even more intense ones every day by someone, can be disastrous for your health. How deteriorating it could be to your mental health, your sanity, and senses.
In order to escape a toxic environment, first, one needs to recognize what a toxic environment is. How does it affect you, what are the signs that signal you to leave it as soon as possible?
So, to be precise, a toxic environment can be any place or any behavior that causes harm to your health, happiness, and wellbeing and is playing a part in hindering your growth. If you’re around people who make you feel small, insecure, or bad about yourself, it’s time to depart from this brutal environment.
How to recognize it?
No matter how much you run, there will always be plenty of negative forces, trying to pull you down. Stopping you from becoming your best. Drawing your attention away from your goals, yourself, and your wellbeing. You have to love yourself enough to train your mind and recognize things that can high-key or low-key damage you. Let me tell you some things that people who are toxic for you can end up doing to you (intentionally or unintentionally):
Their manipulation game is strong:
If they try to control you by telling you what you want to hear and make threats when they feel they are losing control, then you are in danger, love, as they are manipulating you to meet their needs.
They intrude your boundaries and personal space:
Not respecting your boundaries should be the biggest red flag. If they keep on disrespecting you, forcing you to talk about things you don’t want to, or push you to do things you don’t feel comfortable with, anything that can hurt you.
Insensitivity:
They blame you for your feelings instead of helping you out of it. They never offer you a helping hand. Make you feel guilty over your struggles. They judge you by your looks, religion, or status. Discuss your traumas openly or even worse, joke about it.
They can’t take a ‘No’:
They think they always deserve a yes from you. Obedience and affirmations. Hence whenever you are courageous enough to say ‘no’, they take it to their ego and start taunting or misbehaving with you.
Gaslighting is their favorite tool to hurt you:
‘You sound crazy’
‘You need to get over it already’
‘You made me do it.’
But how to treat this cult of a toxic environment?
This toxicity leaves you after great damage. However, the earlier you recognize that it is positive, the easier it will be to get rid of it. There are a set of strategies that may help you get rid of it.
Enforce your boundaries and never let them intrude on them. Never!
Don’t shame yourself for your struggles. Wear your scars and stories like your armors. They are regal and they make you special.
Embrace the glorious mess you are. Accept the imperfections.
Block people who disrespect you.
Say no when it doesn’t suit you.
Outgrowing toxic friendships or relationships is okay.
Not replying to texts won’t hurt you. Respect your peace and space. Prioritize your health and comfort.
Seeking medical health. If it takes therapy to let it all out and move ahead, you should go for it without hesitation.
Our opinions matter: Trust your instinct.
Socially withdraw yourself when too overwhelmed and exhausted.
Surround yourself with the right people: who appreciate you and make you feel uplifted. People you can trust without any fear of judgment who makes you feel at home, trusted, and loved.
I know it’s hard to endure all the pain and trauma that comes with this toxicity. It will take time and patience to heal. However, self-love is your only companion on this rocky, bumpy ride of healing. Just take one courageous step to call them out for their behavior and cut them off.
Always remember that you can choose to be soft and strong at the same time for honey and wildfire are both color gold!
Love and Health,
Uma
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